|ChrisOLeary.com > Sins > TOC > Timeline|
To give you a sense of what happened and when, I've put together this higher-level timeline.
This timeline represents my best efforts to reconstruct what happened to me and when.
Fr. Timothy Dolan — now Timothy Cardinal Dolan — arrives at Immacolata.
Fr. LeRoy Valentine arrives at Immacolata.
The Archdiocese of St. Louis starts offering Face to Face (FtF) confession instead of Dark Scary Room (DSR) confession. I have been going to DSR confession for at least a year. I start going to Fr. Valentine for FtF in the East cry room at Immacolata. Fr. V initiates a tradition of hugging me at the end of our FtF confession sessions. I'm ambivalent. I like the physical contact but it goes on for an awkwardly long time. And increasingly so. My head always ends up in his crotch.
1977 Late Fall
Risk Party at the Rectory in late October or early November. Majority of leaves have fallen from the trees. Just a few still hanging on. There were four of us present at the Risk Party. I think RB, TM, AM, and me.
First time I pass out in Fr. Valentine's presence. Downstairs by the cafeteria outside the door of the meeting room. He comes up behind me and surprises me. I've never had a problem with fainting before, so much that I've never heard the word "fainting." I think they're saying "faking."
Fr. Valentine molests a boy during his first confession (FtF). This is probably TS.
Best guess for That Day. Mom & Dad at Greenbriar right before and over 4th of July.
Problem with Encopresis starts.
Second time I pass out in Fr. Valentine's presence, this time at the first all-school mass of the year.
Yes it was warm, but they always cranked the A/C. And I never had a problem with passing out during mass before, not even during the marathon Easter Week services.
1980 December 26
Trip to the Mud Cave.
Fr. Valentine is moved to MQP. He stays at MQP for only one year. Why?
Moved back to St. Louis for grad school at Wash U. Immediately start having problems with depression and go to see psychologist in early 1993. Given the Book "Feeling Good" and learn about CBT.
First re-enactment of penetration when Laura goes home to St. Louis for Easter and leaves me alone for a week or so.
Move back to St. Louis from Phoenix.
Second re-enactment (of penetration) while I am in Portland, OR for two weeks.
Moving back to St. Louis, and especially moving in from Innsbrook, flips a switch and suddenly I'm having huge amounts of gender confusion problems. I had none in Phoenix.
Laura meets with and talks with my mom about how I've changed. Shortly after I meet with her at the Bread Co in the U City Loop and ask her to help me pay for therapy. Because I've started struggling. Melting down.
Kahneman wins the Nobel Prize in economics, which I had discovered earlier on in the Summer. I mention this because I went from meaningfully researching, and writing, to obsessively researching and no longer being able to write about what I was researching.
Bryan is in 2nd grade and makes his first reconciliation. He goes to DSR side and I go to F2F side of confessional on West wall with pastor of St. Elizabeth. I have the first panic attack I've had since 7th grade. It comes from out of the blue. I hadn’t given the Fr. Valentine thing any further thought, because both Cardinal Timothy Dolan and the Archdiocesan Psychologist told me that nothing happened.
Law and Order Criminal Intent episode Eosphoros first airs. It is a fictionalization of the story of the murder of Madalyn Murray O'Hair. In the episode, the detectives comment that people often have panic attacks when taken back to a place where something bad happened.
That made me wonder if there was something to my recollections about Fr. Valentine, because of what happened during Bryan’s first confession. The panic attack. But I blew it off because Cardinal Dolan and the archdiocesan psychologist said nothing happened.
MK makes her first confession and I have a second panic attack at confession, this time with Fr. Meier in the F2F side of the confessional on the East wall.
I start obsessing about baseball and pitching mechanics and first e-mail Dr. Mike Marshall on April 29, 2005 with "Questions About 9/10 Year-Old Pitchers."
I'm becoming physically and psychologically isolated at work.
Contacted New York Times writers about Fr. Valentine story from 2002 because the repeated panic attacks during Face To Face confession made me start to wonder whether Fr. Valentine had actually done something to me during confession. I didn’t know what. But I'm not stupid. I knew I had a problem with confession.
On the one hand, I felt like I had dodged a bullet. That I was lucky. On the other hand I was beginning to wonder whether I really had. I couldn’t believe that I could have spent so much time with Fr. V but had nothing happen to me. But I couldn’t remember anything. Well, not that much, but a few things that made me wonder. All of which dealt with confession.
I'm laid off by Equifax. As the president of the company said I had become, in his words, "catatonic." I was laid off because my productivity had plummeted. I had become isolated physically and psychologically.
First anger/rage/fear episode as I'm driving West on Adams in downtown Kirkwood, right by the YMCA, while Laura and the kids are in Colorado. Right before 4th of July.
ACTS retreat (retreatant). Panic attack during F2F confession with Msgr Pieper in North room.
Thrown out of the house.
Elevator pitch presentation to jewelers. I am unable to prepare because I am unable to think. I can't sleep. I can't concentrate. The first time that ever happened to me. I huess it was a panic attack, but it lasted for days.
ACTS retreat (on team). Panic attack during F2F confession with Fr. Meyer on South side.
Discussion with Pat S. He suggests I might be having problems with anxiety. I think he's crazy.
2011 May 9
I have my meeting with an Archdiocesan Review Team. At the end of that meeting Deacon Phil Hengen and, by extension, the Archidocese of St. Louis (again), implicitly tells me nothing happened by giving me the book Man Enough and never saying anything about Fr. Valentine other than that he denied what I said.
After the meeting ends, I try to find location of office where I met with the woman who I assume was Nancy Brown. I drive past the building multiple times but literally can't see it.
I finally get in touch with Deacon Hengen. He tells me Valentine denies everything. Duh. Hengen tells me he wants to my therapist, so I sign all the papers I need to sign. But Hengen never calls him.
Jerry Sandusky Penn State scandal comes to light.
Julie S. notices lesion on arm that turns out to be Cancer (Malignant Melanoma).
Updated divorce and parenting plan finalized.
2013 May 10
Approach Monsignor Richard Hanneke while working at St. Elizabeth of Hungary. Tell him of the problems I was having getting Deacon Phil Hengen to help me.
2013 November 27 at 10am
Met with Monsignor Richard Hanneke and told him my story and the problems I was having getting help. We had a follow-up conversation a few days later in which he told me all I could do was work through Deacon Phil Hengen at which point I realized this wasn't a bureaucratic screw-up but a strategy.
Filed lawsuit against Archdiocese of St. Louis.
Surgery to remove Cancer (Malignant Melanoma) from right arm. Literally the next day I was contacted by Jeff Passan who wanted to taunt me about his upcoming book The Arm.
Settled lawsuit against ArchStL due to problem with Statute Of Limitations (SOL) created by Dolan's Gaslighting me and Hengen's giving me the Run-Around. The pay me $15,000 and I net $9,000.
2018 February 5
Receive Sandra Price e-mail admitting it happened.
2018 March 27
I send the following e-mail to Sandra Price.
2018 March 29
Two days after sending the e-mail above to Sandra Price of ArchStL I'm visited by two detectives from the Shrewsbury police department. They seem to think I'm planning an assassination.
2018 April 21
2018 May 1
I send the following e-mail to Deacon Bernie Nojadera of the USCCB and cc Sandra Price, Gabe Jones, and Elizabeth Westhoff of ArchStL.
The next day my mom calls me and tells me the Webtster Groves police want to talk to me. They tell me someone called them and told them they were concerned I was going to hurt myself or someone else.
2019 May 25