Everybody tells me to just move on.

But nobody can tell me how.

How to move on from what happened to me, as a child, at the hands of a Catholic priest named Fr. LeRoy Valentine. And what then happened at my Jesuit high school.

How to move on from what happened after my own personal SPOTLIGHT, when I went to my Archdiocese of St. Louis for help. And my friend the cardinal — and not the baseball kind — called me back.

Most of all, how to (just) move on from what happened at the Mass of Reparation on September 7, 2018.

And what it represents.

The Problem

It all comes down to, and is summed up by, my treatment at the Mass of Reparation.

And everything that's happened since, and despite, SPOTLIGHT.

And VOS ESTIS.

Symptoms

1. Nothing

Despite what the Catholic Church has said about how much it cares, survivors in St. Louis, at least, and I suspect other (arch)dioceses as well, receive NOTHING in terms of help.

In the Archdiocese of St. Louis, the ONLY thing the Assistance Coordinator will do is give you the name of a therapist if you don't already have one.

2. Indifference

If you have trouble believing me, then consider my treatment at the Mass of Reparation.

If the Catholic Church can do to a survivor what they did to me at the Mass of Reparation, out in the open, without fear of question or accountability — and which they continue to do — what else can they do?

Justify?

Rationalize?

When it comes to innocent children, above all else?

Ultimately, it's the coldly callous, arrogant indifference that I find so disturbing.

CREDIT: Robert Cohen | St. Louis Post-Dispatch

Because it gives the lie to all the big words and promises.

And makes it clear that they are just that.

Talk.

3. VOS ESTIS

VOS ESTIS was supposed to change everything. But the reality of VOS ESTIS is that Pope Francis isn't enforcing it.

Despite my repeated pleas.

4. Sacrificed

If the Catholic Church can sacrifice survivors, now as then, despite SPOTLIGHT and VOS ESTIS, who else can they sacrifice?

Still?

And, make no mistake, we were sacrificed.

As the existence of the Smoking Gun makes clear.

5. People Remain at Risk

As a result, Catholic and other children, women, and men remain at risk.

Root Causes

The root cause of the problem is simple.

Lack of Denazification

The same men — people like My Friend the Cardinal — who established their loyality to the church by turning a blind eye to my abuse as a child, and then Gaslighting me as an adult, are now running things.

Unlike after World War II, when Germany went through a process of Denazification, there was no comparable effort in the Catholic Church.

Instead, the Catholic Church's equivalent of the top Nazis were PROMOTED.

Enabling by Lay Catholics

The problem is that too many lay Catholics and members of the Catholic — and even secular press — refuse to discuss or even acknowledge the problem.

Starting with the treatment of survivors.

To discuss the reality of what's being done to survivors, outside of a few cities on the coasts.

What's worse, Catholics and others in law enforcement continue to protect the church. That includes state attornies general and the now Vice President of the United States.

So what, exactly, has changed?

Solution

The solution is to address the sex abuse crisis head-on.

Not just wish and hope it goes away.

If Jesus Christ can do what HE did, entering Jerusalem on Palm Sunday to a certain and KNOWN fate, then you and I and we can do this.