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To give you a sense of my case, I've put together this
timeline.
Timeline
This timeline represents my best efforts to reconstruct what
happened, when. I use external, date-certain events when
possible to nail things down as best as i can. If I have any
doubts about when something happened, I indicate it with a
question mark (?).
1976
I'm 8/9 years old and in 2nd/3rd grade.
Summer 1976
Fr. Dolan arrives at Immacolata.
1977
I'm 9/10 years old and in 3rd/4th grade.
Summer 1977
Fr. Valentine arrives at Immacolata.
August 1977
4th grade starts with Mrs. M.
Fall 1977 (?)
The Archdiocese of St. Louis starts offering Face to Face
(FtF) confession instead of Dark Scary Room (DSR) confession
after I have been going to DSR confession for at least a year. I
start going to Fr. Valentine for FtF in the East cry room at
Immacolata. Fr. V initiates a tradition of hugging me at the end
of our FtF confession sessions. I'm ambivalent. I like the
physical contact but it goes on for an awkwardly long time, and
increasingly.
Late Fall 1977
Risk Party at the Rectory in late October or early November.
Majority of leaves have fallen from the trees. Just a few still
hanging on. There were four of us present at the Risk Party. I
think R, T, A, and me.
Winter 1977
First time I passed out in Fr. Valentine's presence.
Downstairs by the cafeteria outside the door of the meeting
room.
1978
I'm 10/11 years old and in 4th/5th grade.
Spring 1978
Fr. Valentine allegedly molests a boy during his first
confession (FtF).
Summer 1978
I'm 10 years old. Per family calendar, Mom & Dad to
Greenbriar July 2-8 and then family vacation in Michigan for two
weeks at end of July.
August 1978
"Who Are You" by The Who released. Only recently
have I been able to stand to
listen to and appreciate this song.
Fall 1978
5th Grade starts with Mr. E.
1979
I'm 11/12 years old and in 5th/6th grade.
I have a complete meltdown while in Michigan.
1979 May 5
Crash of AA191 in Chicago. A few weeks later we go up to
Michigan and I have a panic attack when I learn my dad is flying
from Chicago to meet us in Michigan.
1979 August
6th Grade starts with Mr. N.
1979 September
The television show Real People starts. This is
relevant to gender confusion. One segment
discusses a transsexual couple and another segment discusses
female impersonators in San Francisco. I wonder if this is the
explanation for my gender confusion.
Redesigned Ford Mustang introduced.
1980
I'm 12/13 years old and in 6th/7th grade.
Project MEGSSS is started for kids 11-13. Jim Doll and I are
accepted at some point, I think in 1981.
Winter 1980
Winter Olympics. Leonard Stock won gold medal at 1980
Olympics. Problems with Leonard Stock project due to anxiety. I
think mom and dad are in Bermuda and then mom's dad dies.
Spring 1980
My grandfather (my Mom's dad) dies.
Summer 1980
Best guess for when
That Day happened. Mom & Dad to Greenbriar.
Problem with Encopresis starts.
I get contacts.
Fall 1980
7th Grade starts with Mrs. H.
Second time I passed out in Fr. Valentine's presence, this
time at the
first all-school mass of the year.
1981
I'm 13/14 years old and in 7th/8th grade
Summer 1981
Fr. Valentine is moved to MQP. He stays at MQP for only one year.
I start taking classes via Project MEGSSS but stop around the
4th of July when my parents are out of town. I think I was
triggered by the anniversary of That Day and didn't want to
leave the house.
1992
Moved back to St. Louis for grad school at Wash U.
1993?
Start having problems with depression and go
to see psychologist in early 1993 (or 1994). Given the Book "Feeling Good"
and learn about CBT. Start researching Seasonal Affective
Disorder.
1996
Living in Phoenix starting on April 15.
1997
1997 Easter
First re-enactment (of penetration) when Laura goes home to
St. Louis for Easter.
1997 Summer
Move back to St. Louis from Phoenix.
1997 Late Summer
Second Rape Re-Enactment Ritual while I am in Portland,
OR for two weeks.
Moving back to St. Louis, and especially moving in from
Innsbrook, flips a switch and suddenly I'm
having huge amounts of gender confusion problems.
I had none in
Phoenix.
Well, not until I was about to visit St. Louis for Easter
1997 and Laura left before me and took the kids. And we were
starting to think about moving back to St. Louis.
Pre-Easter 1997 was my first Rape Re-Enactment Ritual.
2002
2002 February 24
L born.
2002 March Early/Mid
The story about Fr. Valentine's troubled history breaks in the New York Times on
March 3, 2002 and Valentine's resignation is discussed on
March 28, 2002. In early/mid March 2002 I had...
- Multiple conversations with
Cardinal
Timothy Dolan. He told me nothing happened.
- One conversation with an Archdiocese-affiliated psychologist
who I assume was Nancy Brown. Her office was at
141 N Meramec in Clayton I think in suite 25 or 23.
She told me nothing happened. That I was just
"misinterpreting" things.
Cardinal Rigali is Archbishop of St. Louis and is there until
October 5, 2003 farewell mass.
2002 October 9
Daniel Kahneman wins the Nobel Prize. I had discovered
Prospect Theory, and his other work with Amos Tversky, in the
Summer of 2002. While that was good, I also started to develop a
problem with anxiety; with mindlessly, pointlessly, and
unnecessarily thoroughly researching things at the library.
Spring 2002 - November 2003
Tsunami Research
Relevant because, during this time, I started having problems
concentrating. During the Summer of 2003. I thought they were due to ADHD, and received
medication for that, but they were actually prompted by
Valentine, Dolan, and the arrival Summer, which has for years
been a BAD time of the year for me.
2003
B is 7/8 and is in 2nd/3rd grade.
2003 February
Bryan is in 2nd grade and makes his first reconciliation. He
goes to DSR side and I go to F2F side with pastor of St.
Elizabeth. I have the FIRST PANIC ATTACK I've had since the mass
at the start of 7th grade. It comes from out of the blue. I
hadn’t given the Fr. Valentine stuff any further thought, because both
Cardinal
Timothy Dolan and the Archdiocesan Psychologist (presumably
Nancy Brown) told me
nothing happened.
2003 Summer
I start seeing a psychiatrist (Dr. Kreisman) for what I think
is ADHD (but he suspects anxiety as well).
The problems worsen as the 4th of July approaches.
I assume I'm triggered in large part by the panic attack
during Bryan's 1st confession but I don't make the connection because ++Dolan told
me nothing happened. I start taking ADHD meds because I can't
concentrate at work. I just stare at the screen. Some is due to
stress at work (company is struggling) but it's also my historic
pattern of struggling during the Summer. The ADHD meds work over
the course of the Summer but then they start causing problems as
the Fall/Winter comes because I get wired. They're too much. I
start having problems sleeping problems. And I have to drink in
order to people able to sleep. So I'm mixing uppers and downers.
And the gender confusion stuff comes back with a vengeance.
Obsessed with the site Authentikate, trying to figure out if I'm
trans. I conclude I'm not. Which leaves me only more confused.
What the hell is going on?!?
2003 November
I switch jobs from Tsunami Research to TALX/Equifax.
2004
B is 8/9 and is in 3rd/4th grade. B doesn't play baseball in
2004 and
3rd grade. I is 4/5.
2004 January 26
Cardinal Raymond Leo Burke is
installed and is in place until 2008.
2004 July
I'm seeing Dr. Oakes by then. For marriage problems. And
personal problems. Anxiety problems. I'm not sure when I started
seeing her, but it may have been earlier that Summer.
2004 September
I'm seeing both Dr. Kreisman and Dr. Oakes.
2004 October 24 (and again 2005 Spring/Summer)
Law and Order CI episode
Eosphoros first airs.
In that
episode they comment that people often have panic attacks
when taken back to a place where something bad happened. That made me
wonder if there was something to my recollections about Fr.
Valentine, because of what happened during Bryan’s first
confession.
But I blew it off because Cardinal Dolan and
archdiocesan psychologist said nothing happened.
And, come on, it was Fr. V.
2005
B is 9/10 and is in 4th/5th grade. MK is in 2nd/3rd grade. I is 5/6.
2005 January
Seeing both Dr. Kreisman and Dr. Oakes.
2005 February
MK first confession and I have my SECOND PANIC ATTACK at
confession, this time with Fr. Meier.
2005 Spring/Summer
I started obsessing about
baseball pitching mechanics
and
start talking to Dr. Mike Marshall.
I am physically and psychologically isolated at work.
2005 September
I don't know why September 2005 proved decisive.
Why it spurred me into action.
To start wondering
It was at the end of the Summer, and the Summer is always BAD
for me. I also get triggered by Back To School, since that is
one of my Fainting episodes.
It was probably because of the second panic attack during
confession.
2005 September
Contacted David Clohessy of SNAP to see if he knew anything
about Fr. Valentine.
2005 September
Contacted New York Times writers about Fr. Valentine story
from 2002.
I was starting to wonder whether something had actually happened to me,
due to the two panic attacks I had had related to my kids' first
confessions.
But I didn’t know what.
But it was becoming obvious I had a problem with confession.
2006
B is 10/11 and is in 5th/6th grade. I is 6/7.
2007
B is 11/12 and is in 6th/7th grade.
I is 7/8 and is in
2nd/3rd grade.
2007 February
Ian makes his first confession.
2007 Mid/Late June
I lose my job at Equifax (laid off by Liz Ortmann of Lean Six
Sigma team). As the president of the company
said, I had become, in his words, "catatonic." I was laid off
because my productivity had plummeted. I had become isolated
physically and psychologically.
2008
B is 12/13 and is in 7th/8th grade.
I is 8/9 and is in
3rd/4th grade.
2008 Late June
First anger/rage/fear episode as I'm driving West on Adams in
downtown Kirkwood, right by the YMCA, while Laura and the kids
are in Colorado. Right before 4th of July.
2008 December
ACTS retreat (as retreatant). Panic attack during F2F
confession with Msgr Pieper.
2009
I is 9/10 and is in 4th/5th grade.
2009 February
Thrown out of the house.
2009 March
Elevator pitch presentation to jewelers at Lake of the Ozarks. I am unable to
prepare because I am unable to think. I can't
concentrate. I can't sleep. The first time that ever happened to me.
I feel like I'm going crazy.
2010
I is 10/11 and is in 5th/6th grade.
2010 January 4
Divorce finalized.
2010 March(-ish)
I start discussing Fr. Valentine with my psychologist, D.
He tells me that
what I'm telling him, which is mostly Face To Face confession,
but probably some of the other memories, is
not (that big of) a deal.
It's not enough to explain the severity of my
Productivity Problems.
Of my anxiety problems.
I ask him if I should talk to a lawyer about this. He tells
me, "No," but writes down the conversation and the fact that I
asked the question, which is enough to create a problem with the
Statute Of Limitations.
2010 April
ACTS retreat (on team). I give a talk about Forgiveness and
talk about forgiving the Archdiocese. But I'm vague about what.
Because I don't know myself.
I just know that I have a problem with confession.
That I keep reacting STRONGLY to Face To Face confession. I'm
not stupid. I don't know what it means, but I know it doesn't
mean nothing, so I tell the people on retreat to take abuse seriously.
Because something might have happened to me.
But I'm ONLY referring to confession. Nothing more. Not
during the worst stuff.
The next day I have ANOTHER panic attack during Face 2 Face confession
with Fr. Meier.
This fourth panic attack leads me to keep discussing Fr.
Valentine with my therapist, Doug. I obviously have a problem
with F2F confession and, by extension, Fr. Valentine. SOMETHING
happened, even if I don't know what.
So I keep digging.
But I don't know what I'm looking for and Doug can't tell me
(ethically).
2010 June
Conversation with Pat Sullivan about anxiety. He gives me a
couple of his Klonopin pills for me to try. To see if they will
help with my anxiety.
2011
I is 11/12 and is in 6th/7th grade.
May 9, 2011
Meeting with the
Archdiocesan Review Team.
Deacon Phil Hengen
and, by extension, the Archidocese of St. Louis (again) implicitly tell me nothing happened
by giving me the book Man Enough and never saying
anything about Fr. Valentine other than that he denied what
I said.
I did NOT tell ArchStL about rape in this meeting. The only
questionable or bad stuff is Face To Face Confession, Wrestling
(and groping), and the Mud Cave Trip.
I still disn't know what the Bailing Out of the Rectory on the Worst Day
memory means.
I don't start remembering the worst stuff — anything bad or
really even questionable besides confession — until AFTER this
meeting.
November 5, 2011
Jerry Sandusky Penn State scandal comes to light. This
affected me deeply. Almost paralyzed me.
2012
I is 12/13 and in 7th/8th grade.
2013
Spring 2013
First told of lesion on arm that turned out to be Cancer
(Malignant Melanoma).
April 30, 2013
Updated divorce and parenting plan finalized.
May 10, 2013
Articles published
in StLPD and RFT about Fr. Valentine's removal.
Mid/Late-November 2013
Approached Monsignor Richard Hanneke while working at St.
Elizabeth of Hungary. Told him of the problems I was having
getting Deacon Phil Hengen to help me.
November 27, 2013 at 10am
Met with Monsignor Richard Hanneke and told him my story and
the problems I was having getting help. We had a follow-up
conversation a few days later in which he told me all I could do
was work through
Deacon Phil Hengen at which point I realized
this wasn't a
bureaucratic screw-up but a strategy.
2015
October 2015
Filed lawsuit against Archdiocese of St. Louis.
2016
January 2016
Surgery to remove Cancer (Malignant Melanoma) from
right arm.
Contacted by Jeff Passan who wanted to taunt me about what he
said about me in his upcoming book
The Arm.
2017
September 2017
Settled lawsuit against ArchStL due to problem with Statute
Of Limitations (SOL) created by Dolan's Gaslighting me and
Hengen's giving me the Run-Around. The pay me $15,000 and I net
$9,000.
2018
February 5, 2018
Receive Sandra Price e-mail admitting it happened.
Hi Chris,
I wanted to respond to you on behalf of the
Archdiocese of Saint Louis.You chose to litigate your claims of sexual abuse by Rev. Leroy Valentine.
YOUR CLAIMS WERE ACKNOWLEDGED by Deacon Phil Hengen, the
Archdiocese of Saint Louis and the
court system. This matter has been fully settled through
litigation and is final. Because your claim has been fully
settled and is final the Archdiocese of Saint Louis will not
be responding to any further inquiries regarding these
claims. Please know that YOU AND ALL VICTIMS OF ABUSE are in
my prayers and I do hope that you are able to find peace in
the future. I wish you the best.
Sandra Price
Archdiocese of St. Louis
March 27, 2018
I send the following e-mail to Sandra Price.
Ms. Price,
In the spirit of Holy Week, I'm
begging you to please answer one question for me.
For the
sake of my mental health and sanity.
Are you admitting it
happened?
I think that's what your previous e-mail was
implying, but could you please say it out loud?
It would
help me tremendously to hear you and the Archdiocese of St.
Louis say it clearly and unambiguously.
It happened.
Thanks.
March 29, 2018
Two days after sending the e-mail above to Sandra Price of ArchStL
I'm visited by two detectives from the Shrewsbury police
department. They seem to think I'm planning an assassination.
April 20, 2018
Aisha Sultan piece published in St. Louis Post-Dispatch.
May 1, 2018
I send the following e-mail to Deacon Bernie
Nojadera of the
USCCB and cc Sandra Price, Gabe Jones, and Elizabeth Westhoff of
ArchStL.
Deacon Bernie,
An(y) update on what's going
on in St. Louis?
Things are still terrible for survivors.
Unconscionable.
Diabolical.
I spoke publicly
for the first time
in this piece.
Gabe Jones commented on it...
“The archdiocese’s
record of Mr. O’Leary’s allegations are significantly different;
however, due to a court order as well as our own ethical
obligation, we are not at liberty to discuss Mr. O’Leary’s
case.” Jones also said the information O’Leary shared initially
changed multiple times by the time he broke off communication
with the Office of Child and Youth Protection."
The
interesting thing about Mr. Jones' statement is the phrase
"changed multiple times." The only way he could allege that is
by admitting that my 2002 conversation with Timothy Cardinal
Dolan took place, a conversation that was denied during my 2011
meeting with Deacon Phil Hengen and the Review Team.
But
I'm glad ArchStL is now acknowledging my conversations with, and
my Gaslighting by, Cardinal Dolan.
Of course,
Jones' statement contradicted what Sandra Price told me...
"Hi Chris,
I wanted to respond to you on behalf of
the Archdiocese of Saint Louis. You chose to litigate your
claims of sexual abuse by Rev. Leroy Valentine. Your claims were
acknowledged by Deacon Phil Hengen, the Archdiocese of Saint
louis and the court system. This matter has been fully settled
through litigation and is final. Because your claim has been
fully settled and is final the Archdiocese of Saint Louis will
not be responding to any further inquiries regarding these
claims. Please know that you and all victims of abuse are in my
prayers and I do hope that you are able to find peace in the
future. I wish you the best.
Sandra Price"
Yes,
her e-mail was full of Gaslighting, but she did say the key
words...
"you and all victims of abuse"
So, in
sum, things are just as terrible as ever for survivors in St.
Louis.
How is a survivor supposed to find peace, much
less feel like children are safe and survivors will be cared
for, when the Archdiocese of St. Louis refuses to acknowledge
the truth.
Of course, I'm writing about all of this in my
webbook...
https://chrisoleary.com/sins/
I've cc'd
Sandra Price on this both because she is involved and because
the last time I e-mailed her, she sicced the police on me and
told them I was planning and assassination.
That was
unpleasant, but I expect nothing less — or more — from the
Archdiocese of St. Louis.
Chris O'Leary
P.S. I
have had damning experiences with Cardinal Dolan and was
recently contacted by someone who did as well.
Be sure to
let him know the truth will out.
And, knowing that this
e-mail will be forwarded to the police, I want you and everyone
to know that by "the truth will out" I am in no way threatening
you, them, or anyone physically.
What I am doing is
affirming my conviction to tell the truth and the whole truth.
I'll be watching for the white vehicle of the Shrewsbury
police to sit outside my house like it did this weekend.
May 2, 2018
Webster Groves police visit.
The day after sending the e-mail above to Deacon Bernie
Nojadera of
USCCB, I'm visited by the Webster Groves police. They tell me
someone called them and told them they were concerned I was
going to hurt myself or someone else.
November 17, 2018
I'm contacted by T, the person who contacted Cardinal Dolan in late
March, 2002.
2019
June 18, 2019
I go on the Dave Glover show.
July 4-ish, 2019
I'm told about Bishop Z at a high school reunion lunch.
July 26, 2019
The Archdiocese of St. Louis releases its list of
Archdiocesan Clergy with Substantiated Allegations of Sexual
Abuse of a Minor.
July 31, 2019
I'm contacted by The Wife and find about about Bishop X.
September 7, 2019
I'm contacted by another Valentine survivor.
September 13, 2019
I'm thrown out of the Eric Schmitt press conference.
November 1, 2019
I discover Valentine survivor James Turner.
2020
January 29, 2020
I find the Smoking Gun.
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