How do tell if a person or organization is truly sorry about what they did to you or what happened to you?

If they truly care?

If it's a person

Now, let me tell you about my interactions with the Archdiocese of St. Louis and you tell me if what I'm describing sounds more like a bureaucratic screw-up or a strategy.

Screw-Up or Strategy?

I'm sure some of you are wondering if what I'm describing is just another bureaucratic screw-up.

Of a problem employee inhibiting the spread of information up the chain, preventing the organization from acting as it wanted to.

I know, because I had the same thought a few years ago, and did something to test it.

After a couple of years trying to get help through Deacon Phil Hengen, I started to get the sense that, while he acted (minimally) concerned, he wasn't actually going to help mean.

I mean, if you actually want to help someone, you help them.

Right?

As a result, I attempted to go over Deacon Hengen's head.

Around the chain of command, as it were.

Monsignor Richard Hanneke

Mary Queen of Peace, the parish my kids and ex-wife live in, rents the fields at St. Elizabeth of Hungary. As I was separated from my wife, and then when she divorced me, I knew I was going to have a lot of time on my hands, so I took the lead in maintaining and improving the fields at St. E.

During that time, I got to know Monsignor Richard Hanneke, the priest in residence.

As I came to learn, Monsignor Hanneke was the Vicar for Priests for the Archdiocese of St. Louis. I didn't know how the archdiocese was organized, but I did know that a Monsignor outranked a Deacon. As a result, and because Monsignor Hanneke seemed like a nice guy, I told him my story and asked him to help me.

In particular, I told him about the problem I was having getting help through Deacon Hengen.

Which is the whole reason I went to Monsignor Hanneke.

However, while in our first meeting Monsignor Hanneke seemed sympathetic, in our second meeting he ended up referring me back to Deacon Hengen.

A man he knew I didn't trust.

The fact that Monsignor Hanneke wouldn't help me, and only referred me back to Deacon Hengen -- who I believed was part of the problem -- led me to believe that the problems I was having getting help were the result of a strategy, not a simple screw-up, by the Archdiocese of St. Louis.

Why Strategy?

Why would the Archdiocese do this deliberately?

There are a number of possibilities.

The first is that they don't believe that anything happened to me and that I don't deserve any help. Of course, that then begs the question of why the removed Him from public ministry.

The second reason why the Archdiocese would do this deliberately is to make me doubt what happened to me and delay the filing of a lawsuit. Which is exactly what happened as a result of the Catholic Church's attempts to gaslight me.