Sins of the Fathers
ChrisOLeary.com > Sins of the Fathers > Timeline

To give you a sense of my case, I've put together this timeline.

Timeline

This timeline represents my best efforts to reconstruct what happened, when. I use external, date-certain events when possible to nail things down as best as i can. If I have any doubts about when something happened, I indicate it with a question mark (?).

1976

I'm 8/9 years old and in 2nd/3rd grade.

Summer 1976

Fr. Dolan arrives at Immacolata.

1977

I'm 9/10 years old and in 3rd/4th grade.

Summer 1977

Fr. Valentine arrives at Immacolata.

August 1977

4th grade starts with Mrs. M.

Fall 1977 (?)

The Archdiocese of St. Louis starts offering Face to Face (FtF) confession instead of Dark Scary Room (DSR) confession after I have been going to DSR confession for at least a year. I start going to Fr. Valentine for FtF in the East cry room at Immacolata. Fr. V initiates a tradition of hugging me at the end of our FtF confession sessions. I'm ambivalent. I like the physical contact but it goes on for an awkwardly long time, and increasingly.

Late Fall 1977

Risk Party at the Rectory in late October or early November. Majority of leaves have fallen from the trees. Just a few still hanging on. There were four of us present at the Risk Party. I think R, T, A, and me.

Winter 1977

First time I passed out in Fr. Valentine's presence. Downstairs by the cafeteria outside the door of the meeting room.

1978

I'm 10/11 years old and in 4th/5th grade.

Spring 1978

Fr. Valentine allegedly molests a boy during his first confession (FtF).

Summer 1978

I'm 10 years old. Per family calendar, Mom & Dad to Greenbriar July 2-8 and then family vacation in Michigan for two weeks at end of July.

August 1978

"Who Are You" by The Who released. Only recently have  I been able to stand to listen to and appreciate this song.

Fall 1978

5th Grade starts with Mr. E.

1979

I'm 11/12 years old and in 5th/6th grade.

1979 May 5

Crash of AA191 in Chicago. A few weeks later we go up to Michigan and I have a panic attack when I learn my dad is flying from Chicago to meet us in Michigan.

1979 August

6th Grade starts with Mr. N.

1979 September

The television show Real People starts. This is relevant to gender confusion. One segment discusses a transsexual couple and another segment discusses female impersonators in San Francisco. I wonder if this is the explanation for my gender confusion.

Redesigned Ford Mustang introduced.

1980

I'm 12/13 years old and in 6th/7th grade.

Project MEGSSS is started for kids 11-13. Jim Doll and I are accepted at some point, I think in 1981.

Winter 1980

Winter Olympics. Leonard Stock won gold medal at 1980 Olympics. Problems with Leonard Stock project due to anxiety. I think mom and dad are in Bermuda and then mom's dad dies.

Spring 1980

Mom's dad dies.

Summer 1980

Best guess for when That Day happened. Mom & Dad to Greenbriar.

Problem with Encopresis starts.

Fall 1980

7th Grade starts with Mrs. H.

Second time I passed out in Fr. Valentine's presence, this time at the first all-school mass of the year.

1981

I'm 13/14 years old and in 7th/8th grade

Summer 1981

Fr. Valentine is moved to MQP. He stays at MQP for only one year.

I start taking classes via Project MEGSSS but stop around the 4th of July when my parents are out of town. I think I was triggered by the anniversary of That Day and didn't want to leave the house.

1992

Moved back to St. Louis for grad school at Wash U.

1993?

Start having problems with depression and go to see psychologist in early 1993 (or 1994). Given the Book "Feeling Good" and learn about CBT. Start researching Seasonal Affective Disorder.

1996

Living in Phoenix.

1997

1997 Easter

First re-enactment (of penetration) when Laura goes home to St. Louis for Easter.

1997 Summer

Move back to St. Louis from Phoenix.

Second Rape Re-Enactment Ritual while I am in Portland, OR for two weeks.

Moving back to St. Louis, and especially moving in from Innsbrook, flips a switch and suddenly I'm having huge amounts of gender confusion problems.

I had none in Phoenix.

Well, not until I was about to visit St. Louis for Easter 1997 and Laura left before me and took the kids. And we were starting to think about moving back to St. Louis.

Pre-Easter 1997 was my first Rape Re-Enactment Ritual.

2002

2002 February 24

L born.

2002 March Early/Mid

The story about Fr. Valentine's troubled history breaks in the New York Times on March 3, 2002 and Valentine's resignation is discussed on March 28, 2002. In early/mid March 2002 I had...

  • Multiple conversations with Cardinal Timothy Dolan. He told me nothing happened.
  • One conversation with an Archdiocese-affiliated psychologist who I assume was Nancy Brown. Her office was at 141 N Meramec in Clayton I think in suite 25 or 23. She told me nothing happened. That I was just "misinterpreting" things.

Cardinal Rigali is Archbishop of St. Louis and is so until October 5, 2003 farewell mass.

2003

B is 7/8 and is in 2nd/3rd grade.

2003 February

Bryan is in 2nd grade and makes his first reconciliation. He goes to DSR side and I go to F2F side with pastor of St. Elizabeth. I have the FIRST PANIC ATTACK I've had since the mass at the start of 7th grade. It comes from out of the blue. I hadn’t given the Fr. Valentine thing any further thought, because both Cardinal Timothy Dolan and the Archdiocesan Psychologist (presumably Nancy Brown) told me nothing happened.

2003 November

I switch jobs from Tsunami Research to TALX/Equifax.

2004

B is 8/9 and is in 3rd/4th grade. B doesn't play baseball in 3rd grade. I is 4/5.

2004 January 26

Cardinal Raymond Leo Burke is installed and is in place until 2008.

2004 October (or 2005 Spring/Summer)

Law and Order CI episode Eosphoros first airs.

In that episode they comment that people often have panic attacks when taken back to a place where something bad happened. That made me wonder if there was something to my recollections about Fr. Valentine, because of what happened during Bryan’s first confession.

But I blew it off because Cardinal Dolan and archdiocesan psychologist said nothing happened.

2005

B is 9/10 and is in 4th/5th grade. MK is in 2nd/3rd grade. I is 5/6.

2005 February

MK first confession and I have my SECOND PANIC ATTACK at confession, this time with Fr. Meier.

2005 Spring/Summer

I started obsessing about baseball pitching mechanics and start talking to Dr. Mike Marshall.

I am physically and psychologically isolated at work.

2005 September

Contacted New York Times writers about Fr. Valentine story from 2002.

I was starting to wonder whether something had actually happened to me, due to the two panic attacks I had had related to my kids' first confessions.

But I didn’t know what.

But it was becoming obvious I had a problem with confession.

2006

B is 10/11 and is in 5th/6th grade. I is 6/7.

2007

B is 11/12 and is in 6th/7th grade.
I is 7/8 and is in 2nd/3rd grade.

2007 February

Ian makes his first confession.

2007 July

I lose my job at Equifax (laid off by Liz Ortmann of Lean Six Sigma team). As the president of the company said, I had become, in his words, "catatonic." I was laid off because my productivity had plummeted. I had become isolated physically and psychologically.

2008

B is 12/13 and is in 7th/8th grade.
I is 8/9 and is in 3rd/4th grade.

2008 Late June

First anger/rage/fear episode as I'm driving West on Adams in downtown Kirkwood, right by the YMCA, while Laura and the kids are in Colorado. Right before 4th of July.

2008 December

ACTS retreat (as retreatant). Panic attack during F2F confession with Msgr Pieper.

2009

I is 9/10 and is in 4th/5th grade.

2009 February

Thrown out of the house.

2009 March

Elevator pitch presentation to jewelers at Lake of the Ozarks. I am unable to prepare because I am unable to think. I can't concentrate. I can't sleep. The first time that ever happened to me. I feel like I'm going crazy.

2010

I is 10/11 and is in 5th/6th grade.

2010 January 4

Divorce finalized.

2010 April

ACTS retreat (on team). Panic attack during F2F confession with Fr. Meyer.

2010 June

Discussion with Pat Sullivan about anxiety.

2011

I is 11/12 and is in 6th/7th grade.

May 9, 2011

Meeting with the Archdiocesan Review Team.

  • Deacon Phil Hengen and, by extension, the Archidocese of St. Louis (again) implicitly tell me nothing happened by giving me the book Man Enough and never saying anything about Fr. Valentine other than that he denied what I said.

November 5, 2011

Jerry Sandusky Penn State scandal comes to light.

2012

I is 12/13 and in 7th/8th grade.

2013

Spring 2013

First told of lesion on arm that turned out to be Cancer (Malignant Melanoma).

April 30, 2013

Updated divorce and parenting plan finalized.

May 10, 2013

Articles published in StLPD and RFT about Fr. Valentine's removal.

Mid/Late-November 2013

Approached Monsignor Richard Hanneke while working at St. Elizabeth of Hungary. Told him of the problems I was having getting Deacon Phil Hengen to help me.

November 27, 2013 at 10am

Met with Monsignor Richard Hanneke and told him my story and the problems I was having getting help. We had a follow-up conversation a few days later in which he told me all I could do was work through Deacon Phil Hengen at which point I realized this wasn't a bureaucratic screw-up but a strategy.

2015

October 2015

Filed lawsuit against Archdiocese of St. Louis.

2016

January 2016

Surgery to remove Cancer (Malignant Melanoma) from right arm.

Contacted by Jeff Passan who wanted to taunt me about what he said about me in his upcoming book The Arm.

2017

September 2017

Settled lawsuit against ArchStL due to problem with Statute Of Limitations (SOL) created by Dolan's Gaslighting me and Hengen's giving me the Run-Around. The pay me $15,000 and I net $9,000.

2018

February 5, 2018

Receive Sandra Price e-mail admitting it happened.

Hi Chris,

I wanted to respond to you on behalf of the Archdiocese of Saint Louis.You chose to litigate (LIE) your claims of sexual abuse by Rev. Leroy Valentine.

YOUR CLAIMS WERE ACKNOWLEDGED by Deacon Phil Hengen (LIE), the Archdiocese of Saint Louis (LIE) and the court system. This matter has been fully settled through litigation and is final. Because your claim has been fully settled and is final the Archdiocese of Saint Louis will not be responding to any further inquiries regarding these claims. Please know that YOU AND ALL VICTIMS OF ABUSE are in my prayers and I do hope that you are able to find peace in the future. I wish you the best.

Sandra Price
Archdiocese of St. Louis

March 27, 2018

I send the following e-mail to Sandra Price.

Ms. Price,

In the spirit of Holy Week, I'm begging you to please answer one question for me.

For the sake of my mental health and sanity.

Are you admitting it happened?

I think that's what your previous e-mail was implying, but could you please say it out loud?

It would help me tremendously to hear you and the Archdiocese of St. Louis say it clearly and unambiguously.

It happened.

Thanks.

March 29, 2018

Two days after sending the e-mail above to Sandra Price of ArchStL I'm visited by two detectives from the Shrewsbury police department. They seem to think I'm planning an assassination.

April 21, 2018

Aisha Sultan piece published in St. Louis Post-Dispatch.

May 1, 2018

I send the following e-mail to Deacon Bernie Nojadera of the USCCB and cc Sandra Price, Gabe Jones, and Elizabeth Westhoff of ArchStL.

Deacon Bernie,

An(y) update on what's going on in St. Louis?

Things are still terrible for survivors.

Unconscionable.

Diabolical.

I spoke publicly for the first time in this piece.

Gabe Jones commented on it...

“The archdiocese’s record of Mr. O’Leary’s allegations are significantly different; however, due to a court order as well as our own ethical obligation, we are not at liberty to discuss Mr. O’Leary’s case.” Jones also said the information O’Leary shared initially changed multiple times by the time he broke off communication with the Office of Child and Youth Protection."

The interesting thing about Mr. Jones' statement is the phrase "changed multiple times." The only way he could allege that is by admitting that my 2002 conversation with Timothy Cardinal Dolan took place, a conversation that was denied during my 2011 meeting with Deacon Phil Hengen and the Review Team.

But I'm glad ArchStL is now acknowledging my conversations with, and my Gaslighting by, Cardinal Dolan.

http://chrisoleary.com/sins/Gaslighting.html

Of course, Jones' statement contradicted what Sandra Price told me...

"Hi Chris,

I wanted to respond to you on behalf of the Archdiocese of Saint Louis. You chose to litigate your claims of sexual abuse by Rev. Leroy Valentine. Your claims were acknowledged by Deacon Phil Hengen, the Archdiocese of Saint louis and the court system. This matter has been fully settled through litigation and is final. Because your claim has been fully settled and is final the Archdiocese of Saint Louis will not be responding to any further inquiries regarding these claims. Please know that you and all victims of abuse are in my prayers and I do hope that you are able to find peace in the future. I wish you the best.

Sandra Price"

Yes, her e-mail was full of Gaslighting, but she did say the key words...

"you and all victims of abuse"

So, in sum, things are just as terrible as ever for survivors in St. Louis.

How is a survivor supposed to find peace, much less feel like children are safe and survivors will be cared for, when the Archdiocese of St. Louis refuses to acknowledge the truth.

Of course, I'm writing about all of this in my webbook...

http://chrisoleary.com/sins/

I've cc'd Sandra Price on this both because she is involved and because the last time I e-mailed her, she sicced the police on me and told them I was planning and assassination.

That was unpleasant, but I expect nothing less -- or more -- from the Archdiocese of St. Louis.

Chris O'Leary

P.S. I have had damning experiences with Cardinal Dolan and was recently contacted by someone who did as well.

Be sure to let him know the truth will out.

And, knowing that this e-mail will be forwarded to the police, I want you and everyone to know that by "the truth will out" I am in no way threatening you, them, or anyone physically.

What I am doing is affirming my conviction to tell the truth and the whole truth.

I'll be watching for the white vehicle of the Shrewsbury police to sit outside my house like it did this weekend.

May 2, 2018

The day after sending the e-mail above to Deacon Bernie Nojadera of USCCB, I'm visited by the Webster Groves police. They tell me someone called them and told them they were concerned I was going to hurt myself or someone else.

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