To give you a sense of my case, I've put together this
This timeline represents my best efforts to reconstruct what
happened, when. I use external, date-certain events when
possible to nail things down as best as i can. If I have any
doubts about when something happened, I indicate it with a
question mark (?).
I'm 8/9 years old and in 2nd/3rd grade.
Fr. Dolan arrives at Immacolata.
I'm 9/10 years old and in 3rd/4th grade.
Fr. Valentine arrives at Immacolata.
4th grade starts with Mrs. M.
Fall 1977 (?)
The Archdiocese of St. Louis starts offering Face to Face
(FtF) confession instead of Dark Scary Room (DSR) confession
after I have been going to DSR confession for at least a year. I
start going to Fr. Valentine for FtF in the East cry room at
Immacolata. Fr. V initiates a tradition of hugging me at the end
of our FtF confession sessions. I'm ambivalent. I like the
physical contact but it goes on for an awkwardly long time, and
Late Fall 1977
Risk Party at the Rectory in late October or early November.
Majority of leaves have fallen from the trees. Just a few still
hanging on. There were four of us present at the Risk Party. I
think R, T, A, and me.
First time I passed out in Fr. Valentine's presence.
Downstairs by the cafeteria outside the door of the meeting
I'm 10/11 years old and in 4th/5th grade.
Fr. Valentine allegedly molests a boy during his first
I'm 10 years old. Per family calendar, Mom & Dad to
Greenbriar July 2-8 and then family vacation in Michigan for two
weeks at end of July.
"Who Are You" by The Who released. Only recently
have I been able to stand to
listen to and appreciate this song.
5th Grade starts with Mr. E.
I'm 11/12 years old and in 5th/6th grade.
1979 May 5
Crash of AA191 in Chicago. A few weeks later we go up to
Michigan and I have a panic attack when I learn my dad is flying
from Chicago to meet us in Michigan.
6th Grade starts with Mr. N.
The television show Real People starts. This is
relevant to gender confusion. One segment
discusses a transsexual couple and another segment discusses
female impersonators in San Francisco. I wonder if this is the
explanation for my gender confusion.
Redesigned Ford Mustang introduced.
I'm 12/13 years old and in 6th/7th grade.
Project MEGSSS is started for kids 11-13. Jim Doll and I are
accepted at some point, I think in 1981.
Winter Olympics. Leonard Stock won gold medal at 1980
Olympics. Problems with Leonard Stock project due to anxiety. I
think mom and dad are in Bermuda and then mom's dad dies.
Mom's dad dies.
Best guess for when
That Day happened. Mom & Dad to Greenbriar.
Problem with Encopresis starts.
7th Grade starts with Mrs. H.
Second time I passed out in Fr. Valentine's presence, this
time at the
first all-school mass of the year.
I'm 13/14 years old and in 7th/8th grade
Fr. Valentine is moved to MQP. He stays at MQP for only one year.
I start taking classes via Project MEGSSS but stop around the
4th of July when my parents are out of town. I think I was
triggered by the anniversary of That Day and didn't want to
leave the house.
Moved back to St. Louis for grad school at Wash U.
Start having problems with depression and go
to see psychologist in early 1993 (or 1994). Given the Book "Feeling Good"
and learn about CBT. Start researching Seasonal Affective
Living in Phoenix.
First re-enactment (of penetration) when Laura goes home to
St. Louis for Easter.
Move back to St. Louis from Phoenix.
Second Rape Re-Enactment Ritual while I am in Portland,
OR for two weeks.
Moving back to St. Louis, and especially moving in from
Innsbrook, flips a switch and suddenly I'm
having huge amounts of gender confusion problems.
I had none in
Well, not until I was about to visit St. Louis for Easter
1997 and Laura left before me and took the kids. And we were
starting to think about moving back to St. Louis.
Pre-Easter 1997 was my first Rape Re-Enactment Ritual.
2002 February 24
2002 March Early/Mid
The story about Fr. Valentine's troubled history breaks in the New York Times on
March 3, 2002 and Valentine's resignation is discussed on
March 28, 2002. In early/mid March 2002 I had...
- Multiple conversations with
Timothy Dolan. He told me nothing happened.
- One conversation with an Archdiocese-affiliated psychologist
who I assume was Nancy Brown. Her office was at
141 N Meramec in Clayton I think in suite 25 or 23.
She told me nothing happened. That I was just
Cardinal Rigali is Archbishop of St. Louis and is so until
October 5, 2003 farewell mass.
B is 7/8 and is in 2nd/3rd grade.
Bryan is in 2nd grade and makes his first reconciliation. He goes to DSR side and I go to F2F
side with pastor of St. Elizabeth. I have the FIRST PANIC ATTACK I've had since
the mass at the start of 7th grade. It
comes from out of the blue. I hadn’t given the Fr. Valentine
thing any further thought, because both
Timothy Dolan and the Archdiocesan Psychologist (presumably
Nancy Brown) told me
I switch jobs from Tsunami Research to TALX/Equifax.
B is 8/9 and is in 3rd/4th grade. B doesn't play baseball in
3rd grade. I is 4/5.
2004 January 26
Cardinal Raymond Leo Burke is
installed and is in place until 2008.
2004 October (or 2005 Spring/Summer)
Law and Order CI episode
Eosphoros first airs.
episode they comment that people often have panic attacks
when taken back to a place where something bad happened. That made me
wonder if there was something to my recollections about Fr.
Valentine, because of what happened during Bryan’s first
But I blew it off because Cardinal Dolan and
archdiocesan psychologist said nothing happened.
B is 9/10 and is in 4th/5th grade. MK is in 2nd/3rd grade. I is 5/6.
MK first confession and I have my SECOND PANIC ATTACK at
confession, this time with Fr. Meier.
I started obsessing about
baseball pitching mechanics
start talking to Dr. Mike Marshall.
I am physically and psychologically isolated at work.
Contacted New York Times writers about Fr. Valentine story
I was starting to wonder whether something had actually happened to me,
due to the two panic attacks I had had related to my kids' first
But I didn’t know what.
But it was becoming obvious I had a problem with confession.
B is 10/11 and is in 5th/6th grade. I is 6/7.
B is 11/12 and is in 6th/7th grade.
I is 7/8 and is in
Ian makes his first confession.
I lose my job at Equifax (laid off by Liz Ortmann of Lean Six
Sigma team). As the president of the company
said, I had become, in his words, "catatonic." I was laid off
because my productivity had plummeted. I had become isolated
physically and psychologically.
B is 12/13 and is in 7th/8th grade.
I is 8/9 and is in
2008 Late June
First anger/rage/fear episode as I'm driving West on Adams in
downtown Kirkwood, right by the YMCA, while Laura and the kids
are in Colorado. Right before 4th of July.
ACTS retreat (as retreatant). Panic attack during F2F
confession with Msgr Pieper.
I is 9/10 and is in 4th/5th grade.
Thrown out of the house.
Elevator pitch presentation to jewelers at Lake of the Ozarks. I am unable to
prepare because I am unable to think. I can't
concentrate. I can't sleep. The first time that ever happened to me.
I feel like I'm going crazy.
I is 10/11 and is in 5th/6th grade.
2010 January 4
ACTS retreat (on team). Panic attack during F2F confession
with Fr. Meyer.
Discussion with Pat Sullivan about anxiety.
I is 11/12 and is in 6th/7th grade.
May 9, 2011
Meeting with the
Archdiocesan Review Team.
- Deacon Phil Hengen
and, by extension, the Archidocese of St. Louis (again) implicitly tell me nothing happened
by giving me the book Man Enough and never saying
anything about Fr. Valentine other than that he denied what
November 5, 2011
Jerry Sandusky Penn State scandal comes to light.
I is 12/13 and in 7th/8th grade.
First told of lesion on arm that turned out to be Cancer
April 30, 2013
Updated divorce and parenting plan finalized.
May 10, 2013
in StLPD and RFT about Fr. Valentine's removal.
Approached Monsignor Richard Hanneke while working at St.
Elizabeth of Hungary. Told him of the problems I was having
getting Deacon Phil Hengen to help me.
November 27, 2013 at 10am
Met with Monsignor Richard Hanneke and told him my story and
the problems I was having getting help. We had a follow-up
conversation a few days later in which he told me all I could do
was work through
Deacon Phil Hengen at which point I realized
this wasn't a
bureaucratic screw-up but a strategy.
Filed lawsuit against Archdiocese of St. Louis.
Surgery to remove Cancer (Malignant Melanoma) from
Contacted by Jeff Passan who wanted to taunt me about what he
said about me in his upcoming book
Settled lawsuit against ArchStL due to problem with Statute
Of Limitations (SOL) created by Dolan's Gaslighting me and
Hengen's giving me the Run-Around. The pay me $15,000 and I net
February 5, 2018
Receive Sandra Price e-mail admitting it happened.
I wanted to respond
to you on behalf of the Archdiocese of Saint Louis.You chose to
litigate (LIE) your claims of sexual abuse by Rev. Leroy Valentine.
YOUR CLAIMS WERE ACKNOWLEDGED by Deacon Phil Hengen
(LIE), the Archdiocese of Saint Louis (LIE) and the
court system. This matter has been fully settled through
litigation and is final. Because your claim has been fully
settled and is final the Archdiocese of Saint Louis will not
be responding to any further inquiries regarding these
claims. Please know that YOU AND ALL VICTIMS OF ABUSE are in
my prayers and I do hope that you are able to find peace in
the future. I wish you the best.
Archdiocese of St. Louis
March 27, 2018
I send the following e-mail to Sandra Price.
In the spirit of Holy Week, I'm
begging you to please answer one question for me.
sake of my mental health and sanity.
Are you admitting it
I think that's what your previous e-mail was
implying, but could you please say it out loud?
help me tremendously to hear you and the Archdiocese of St.
Louis say it clearly and unambiguously.
March 29, 2018
Two days after sending the e-mail above to Sandra Price of ArchStL
I'm visited by two detectives from the Shrewsbury police
department. They seem to think I'm planning an assassination.
April 21, 2018
Aisha Sultan piece published in St. Louis Post-Dispatch.
May 1, 2018
I send the following e-mail to Deacon Bernie
Nojadera of the
USCCB and cc Sandra Price, Gabe Jones, and Elizabeth Westhoff of
An(y) update on what's going
on in St. Louis?
Things are still terrible for survivors.
I spoke publicly
for the first time
in this piece.
Gabe Jones commented on it...
record of Mr. O’Leary’s allegations are significantly different;
however, due to a court order as well as our own ethical
obligation, we are not at liberty to discuss Mr. O’Leary’s
case.” Jones also said the information O’Leary shared initially
changed multiple times by the time he broke off communication
with the Office of Child and Youth Protection."
interesting thing about Mr. Jones' statement is the phrase
"changed multiple times." The only way he could allege that is
by admitting that my 2002 conversation with Timothy Cardinal
Dolan took place, a conversation that was denied during my 2011
meeting with Deacon Phil Hengen and the Review Team.
I'm glad ArchStL is now acknowledging my conversations with, and
my Gaslighting by, Cardinal Dolan.
Jones' statement contradicted what Sandra Price told me...
I wanted to respond to you on behalf of
the Archdiocese of Saint Louis. You chose to litigate your
claims of sexual abuse by Rev. Leroy Valentine. Your claims were
acknowledged by Deacon Phil Hengen, the Archdiocese of Saint
louis and the court system. This matter has been fully settled
through litigation and is final. Because your claim has been
fully settled and is final the Archdiocese of Saint Louis will
not be responding to any further inquiries regarding these
claims. Please know that you and all victims of abuse are in my
prayers and I do hope that you are able to find peace in the
future. I wish you the best.
her e-mail was full of Gaslighting, but she did say the key
"you and all victims of abuse"
sum, things are just as terrible as ever for survivors in St.
How is a survivor supposed to find peace, much
less feel like children are safe and survivors will be cared
for, when the Archdiocese of St. Louis refuses to acknowledge
Of course, I'm writing about all of this in my
Sandra Price on this both because she is involved and because
the last time I e-mailed her, she sicced the police on me and
told them I was planning and assassination.
unpleasant, but I expect nothing less -- or more -- from the
Archdiocese of St. Louis.
have had damning experiences with Cardinal Dolan and was
recently contacted by someone who did as well.
Be sure to
let him know the truth will out.
And, knowing that this
e-mail will be forwarded to the police, I want you and everyone
to know that by "the truth will out" I am in no way threatening
you, them, or anyone physically.
What I am doing is
affirming my conviction to tell the truth and the whole truth.
I'll be watching for the white vehicle of the Shrewsbury
police to sit outside my house like it did this weekend.
May 2, 2018
The day after sending the e-mail above to Deacon Bernie
USCCB, I'm visited by the Webster Groves police. They tell me
someone called them and told them they were concerned I was
going to hurt myself or someone else.